Spiral Moth
I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired of having to be a person every single day. I don't know how else to explain it.
I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired of having to be a person every single day. I don't know how else to explain it.
I said "you too" when the waiter said "enjoy your meal." I wanted to leave the country.
Sometimes I cancel plans because I don't want to go. Then I sit alone and wish someone was here. Make it make sense.
He fell asleep while we were on FaceTime. I stayed on the call for another 40 minutes listening to him breathe. I don't know why that felt more intimate than anything else we've done.
I still check their Instagram sometimes. Not even to see if they're dating someone. I just want to know if they look happy. Which is honestly worse.
I spend 8 hours a day working and then feel guilty for being too tired to do anything after work. Who designed adulthood?
Sometimes I purposely take longer to reply because I don't want him to think I was waiting for his message. Meanwhile I've had my phone in my hand for 25 minutes.
We broke up two weeks ago and I still automatically send him memes. Yesterday I sent one. Then stared at the chat for like five minutes. Then deleted it. I hate this part.
My mom called today. I didn't answer because I didn't have the energy to say "I'm fine." She called again. I answered. She immediately asked if I had eaten. Moms are weird.
I rehearse conversations before making phone calls. Then when they answer I forget every word I've ever learned.
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